Southern Humor - Friday Funnies

The day I sent my husband to the grocery store!

If you need a laugh . . . and who doesn't?
Take seven minutes out of your schedule and watch this YouTube. Not only will you smile -- you'll laugh out loud.

Whether you have a husband, a significant other, or a roommate, you will relate to Jeanne Robertson's husband's LITERAL translation of her grocery list.

Being raised in Texas, which we consider part of the South, I can relate to Jeanne Robertson's accent and sense of humor. You do need to wait for the punchline when dealing with Southern humor and certainly Southern women. We don't get in a hurry to reach the end. A good story should end about the time a gal gets to the bottom of her glass. (Could be sweet iced tea . . . could be Mint Julep . . . or could be Sazerac; whatever is in our glass, touch it and die.)

But you don't need deep South roots to enjoy female humor or a good drink. You simply need a preferred beverage and a place to perch. Could be your front stoop. Could be your favored lawn chair. Could be a back porch. The point is: TAKE TIME, LAUGH, AND FIND THE JOY IN THE EVERYDAY. A tall glass of something cool and wonderful and a place to settle are the only requirements.

Do you have a favorite sippin' drink?

My goal is not to force you to tarry. If you've watched the video, laughed for a bit, put a smile on your face and thought about where you'll settle with a little time and a nice drink, then my late-night (or early morning, depending on your timezone) goal is done.

I will leave you with one of my favorite sayings. As a matter of fact, I want this on a sampler. Maybe, I'll save time and just stitch it right across my kids' foreheads.

Wishing you a wonderful day from my back porch.

Universal Truths from CHILDHOOD to ADULTHOOD to OLD AGE!

As I've aged, I learned several universal truths. I ran across a few of these in past emails and wanted to share the wisdom.

Enjoy!

From the youngest to the oldest, it's often the simple pleasures that measure our success.

Childhood wisdom . . . trial and error. Sometimes, the smartest in the room are the youngest.

Families . . . middle age . . . and adulting when you'd rather be relaxing on a beach with a drink & umbrella.

And finally, with age comes WISDOM . . . or does it?

Final thoughts . . . too important to be left out: Dog Wisdom

If Women Ruled the World or something

A recent article brought this blog to mind: 'If women ruled the world. . .'

All right, all right, I'm not insinuating that women can't drive. Far from it. I tool around in a full-sized van, 6600 pounds, thank you very much and I can park the puppy in a rat hole. Do remember, I'm from Texas and things are bigger here than in other parts of the world -- rat holes included. But gals are normally handling a number of things while trying to park and I think it's only fair we should get a bigger parking spot.

There would be a little 'bill' equality . . .

Tools would be simpler.

Now, you're talking my talk.

Don't ask, 'where's the beef?'. More importantly, where's the duct tape? No woman's purse is actually complete without duct tape. Want to know how to hold a fence in place? Duct Tape. Keep air from leaking out of a tire? Duct Tape. Prevent anything from flapping in the wind? Duct Tape. Okay, I rest my case.


And for traditional tools . . . I say, 'Who needs 'em' I have hung many a picture with a shoe, and no, I don't measure before I put it on the wall. Hang and bang--that's my philosophy. And I can screw anything in place with a butter knife or better yet a metal nail file.

Make sure to get a heel with serious heft to it, however. If you're going to bang away, you want it to be effective.

Oh, and not the good butter knife, for crying out loud. That's like your kids buffing the dog clean with your good kitchen towels. Keep an old - we don't have the rest of the silverware set anymore - butter knife in your special tool drawer. Don't have one. Hit any Saturday morning garage sale. A .25C max.

Hiking boots would actually LOOK good.

Toilet seats would stay in their proper position.

And guys would have the right toolbox.
Guys, if you're going to help 'make em', then roll up your sleeves and wade in.