6 Steps to Editing Like a PROfessional!

Editing is hard work . . . anyone who tells you differently is selling something.

Editing is part of every writer’s job . . . anyone who tells you differently is selling something.

Finding the time, and more importantly, making that time count is how the PROfessionals edit.

Below are 6 editing tricks to enhance your writing.

1) Find your editing groove. For some this is EARLY when eyes are the sharpest and focus is the clearest. For others their peak time might be mid-to-late afternoon. Caffeine kicks in, morning rush dies down and – again, this is about focus – the brain settles into a rhythm.

I caution against late night editing. Eyes are slower for all the image bombardment of the day. Eagle eyes are needed for great editing. If, however, evening is the ONLY quiet time – then read the sentences aloud. That’s the best way to catch what’s actually on the page.

2) Highlight sticking points. One particular sentence seem muddy? Dialogue exchange stilted? Blocking in the scene missing? Think about it. Mull it over. But NOT TOO LONG. Don’t get dragged into the writing whirlpool and expect to rescue every drowning sentence. Highlight the sticking points and then MOVE on.

The solution to the original hiccup may reveal itself a page later . . . two pages later . . . when you’re in the shower. (That’s a biggy for me. My dialogue is suddenly brilliant while I’m in the shower. Ink blots and smudges really can tell a story.)


3) Great editing is about condensing.

A) Don’t be afraid to rip out meandering dialogue. Think about that friend (or relative) who never met a short story. Get to the point. B) Scene setting is necessary; world-building may be a must for your genre. But readers will skip loooooong descriptive passages. Focus on the specific elements that make that particular description important then highlight those aspects. C) Adverbs are NOT a writer’s friend. Use with caution.

4) Enhance chapter hooks. Can you name 3 writers that make it impossible for you to put down their book? Why? Great writing – sure. Good plot – absolutely. Superb characters – goes without saying. But I’d place a bet . . . on chapter hooks. How do you hone that skill?

A) Study the timing your favorite authors employ. B) Study 30-minute TV shows. C) Study YA novella authors.

One of my go-to authors is Gary Paulsen. He started in short serials before moving to YA novels. He wrote for youth at an easily distracted age, yet he kept them turning the pages.

If adverbs should be avoided like the plague, then chapter hooks should be embraced liked antibiotics.


5) During editing pay close attention to easy-to-transpose words.

A) patient vs. patience; B) complied vs. compiled; C) advise vs. advice. D) analyze vs. analysis; E) ever vs. every.

The list can be endless, and even tedious. If you’re unsure on the correct version, highlight the word and check for synonyms. Still confused? Use Dictionary.com or your favorite online word source. I work with double monitors to keep support sources easily accessible.

6) Step six to editing like a PRO is an extension of step five. Be aware of your go-to words. One of my writing redundancies is ‘back’. Step back. Go back. He moved back. Her back. His back. Back off. Back away. Am I backing myself into a corner? Find a word cloud program, even a Plain Jane version in your document program of choice, then analyze a scene or chapter. If you are guilty of lazy repetition, it will leap off the page.

Good news for writers everywhere: Editing like a PROfessional writer is a learned skill.

You don’t expect to be a fabulous writer first rattle out of the box.

As a writer, you’ll create loads of boxes (stories) and each one will require editing (loads of editing).

Add these 6 editing tips to your writer’s arsenal and you will deliver more concise and enjoyable words to page.

Be at BETTER WRITER
AT

How to entice Readers . . . 5 Writing Tips to Building Book Teasers!

Writing the Perfect Phrase -- study the masters!

Snapping Photos?? Breathe LIFE into Writing . . .

I’m old enough that Kodak still means cameras to me. Instant camera was our phrase from the 60s & 70s. Of course, considering today’s technology, it’s ludicrous to think those were instant pictures.

1) First to film – The lucky owned a 35MM, which meant loading the camera was always a treat. Lining it up - perfectly - to catch the leading edge of the film reel (and hoping like crazy that you’d really accomplished that feat so you’d be taking pictures instead of just turning the hand crank). For the novice photo buff, it started with a Kodak Instamatic: a pop-and-click camera.

2) No do-overs -- As you shot the roll of film, it was framed or not. Blurry or not. Too dark, too light, the wrong angle OR not.

3) Film development – Then, budding photographers were off to the photo store to drop the precious roll of film.

4) Pictures – Finally, the film results were returned. Not just moments later, or hours later, but days later, the camera buff could enjoy their photo reward. Oh, and the sleeved negatives were the accompaniment, in case, a second print was required.

Stop & Consider:

How often did that picture actually match the remembered image in your mind?
The memory of the event, the landscape, the adventure?

Even today, with the serious advances in iPhones, Smartphones and photography equipment,
does the captured image provide a mirror testament to the moment?

Why not?

What’s wrong?

Why isn’t that image on our social media, in print, framed and hung on our wall, the perfect recreation?

Because – how ever good the photographer – memories are about more than the two dimensional image.

Memories capture:
1) Sound: sea rushing to shore, a child’s squeal, a seagull’s scream.
2) Smell: briny ocean, clean air, tempting scents of grilling hotdogs, smoke from a beach fire.
3) Feel: cold wind, warmth of the sun, slick of suntan lotion.
4) Taste: salt on the tongue, hotdogs slathered with chili & onions, chilly rocky road ice cream.
5) Sight: waves breaking against impenetrable rocks throwing mist high; sun illuminating a dad teaching his child to swim; clouds building, deepening, darkening, threatening until the brilliance of lightning splits the sky.

The photo can highlight one instant in time, but to truly capture the ‘Kodak’ moment, all senses must be enveloped.

As a writer do you store these memories to access when creating a scene? Building a character’s backstory? Designing real-life dialogue?

Life is more than a snap-shot.
It’s more than 3-D.

Life is meant to be fully dimensional. Writers, then, must create the moments, the experiences and breathe those images onto page.

One of my New Year’s Resolutions – and I commit to these sparingly – to develop pics from my camera phone (QUICKLY) then list one or more sensory memories on the back of the photo. I have several underutilized photo boxes (normally filled with junk I simply haven’t cleaned away – ooh, sounds like another worthy NYR). I don’t want to overcomplicate the process, so I’m planning to file under settings. Then as I write a beach scene, I can thumb through these Kodak memories and relive the experience, that slice of living in the moment.

The goal: no matter how good my sense of ‘senses’ can be during a writing session,

I always want to dig deeper,
bring more to the page,
breathe more LIFE into the writing.

Learn More! Additional writing tips.

How to Entice Readers . . . 5 Writing Tips to Building Book Teasers!

Demystifying graphics for your advertising needs.

Chasing Destiny - The Donovan Legacy, Book 2

As I'm currently working through edits -- CHASING DESTINY -- and always on the look-out for snippets to share during release, here are a few that caught my Tuesday morning muse.

My favorites for the day . . .

1)

Garrick glanced toward the unopened bottle and glasses. She seemed far too at home, too at ease in his house. How long had this lovely stranger been living here—alone—with his father? “Enough of the cat and mouse game. Who are you?”

Some strange woman, with endless mahogany eyes, was making herself quite comfortable. He would have his answer, and now. Sultry voice and cooking skills included, she could be a dangerous distraction for any guy, and certainly for an older man who happened to be worth a large chunk of money.

“Your daddy warned me that you were the difficult type.” There was strain in her face now, the smile not quite as bright, the eyes more reserved. “Pit bull persistent with a touch of cynicism thrown in for good measure. Looks like he was right on both counts.”

“If you have nothing to hide, then there’s no reason not to tell me.”

A tiny worry frown creased her brow. Laying the plates on the table’s edge, she resettled the ball cap and studied Garrick for several minutes. “I’m the graphic designer who’s going to save your GQ fanny on the capitol’s restoration campaign.” She looked pointedly at the bottle. “Now, are you going to open the wine?”

2)

Hot Texas summer storms marched across open prairie with less impact than an angry Garrick Shapiro.

The man quit the kitchen with a pivot turn that would do the military proud, only to return a short time later in his casual attire.

Without a word, he left the house and headed across the wide lawn.

Jaycee had known better than to follow.

If she learned anything with four brothers, it was that men needed their thinking space.

And God help the woman who infringed when their poor little brains needed room to expand.

3)

“Does this mean,” Garrick patted the sagging office couch, apparently intending to ignore her sarcasm, “that you’ve decided I’m too difficult to live with?”

Jaycee rested against her desk and clarified, “I wasn’t living with you.”

“So, is that a yes or no to the difficult part?”

“Who are you?” Abandoning her casual lean, she rolled up to her knees on the office carpet and squared off with him. His eyes twinkled, and she’d bet her last Oreo he was funning her. “You’re certainly not the same guy who came home from London.”

“Jet lag. I get a little…”

“Cranky?” she finished.

“Sometimes.”

“Irritable?”

He quirked an eyebrow at her, but answered, “Perhaps.”

“How about down-right scorpion-stinging, cactus-poking ornery?”

“You made your point.” He offered an olive branch. “Truce.”

Jaycee considered the tapered, but not pampered, extended hand. She was lousy at staying mad. It simply took too much energy, and at the moment she was desperately short of energy. Shrugging, she placed her palm against his then sucked in a fast breath when his fingers tightened, enclosing her in warmth.

Unfortunately, it's time to return to my other job . . . the one that pays most of the bills . . . so I must leave Jaycee & Garrick for later in the day.
But rest assured, they'll be jelling in my mind.

Teaching an Old Dog (writer) New Tricks. Secrets to Better Writing.

The Donovan Legacy (HARM'S WAY - current release) actually started with a prequel.

CHASING DESTINY

CHASING DESTINY was written a year in front of HARM'S WAY and then promptly buried among all my floppy disks. Yep, that long ago.
Having recovered my earlier works, I realized the characters of CHASING DESTINY (Garrick & Jaycee) deserved their own release.
To that end, the rewrites began.

The process has been enlightening: good & bad. And that tenuous, often painful, process deserved to be shared as well. Producing better writing is hard work. Short cuts are not generally the answer, but you can learn to be a smarter writer by following some of these writing tips.

New eyes on an old manuscript allowed my editor’s eagle eye to find:

1) Uh-oh, are all those TYPOs really mine? One editing pass or a dozen, some TYPOS are hard to spot because it’s often not about spelling. Becomes or becoming. Too or to. They’re or there. A new read will often find what’s actually written on page.

2) Wow! These characters are witty. How much more life can I breath into the page if I capitalize on that trait?


3) Grammar is an on-going learning process. The rules don’t change, but my ability to better utilize them evolves.

4) I will habitually overuse the same words. It’s as though my writing needle is stuck in the same vinyl groove.
This problem leads me to #5.

5) Use a word recognition program, which will highlight most commonly used or abused words in a chapter or scene. I use Wordle.net, but that’s my preference. There are other options – quite a few inside of Microsoft Word itself. See my blog: Wordle.net Turning actual words into ‘art’ never gets old for me. Writers are visual creatures; it’s how we bring black-n-white to full-life color. A program for generating ‘word clouds’ is a positive editing experience, and it’s just plain fun.

6) Older MS means newer, less experienced, writer = some written words are just drivel. My Southern editor says, “Just dump the dang drivel.” My professional editor says “Discard the dreaded drivel.” Whichever editor shows up for my proofing session, she is right. Don’t be afraid to eliminate writing that slows the pace, is redundant, or is sophomoric to your current style. Again, being a better writer is often about what should REMAIN on page - not what was originally written.

a. Don’t be afraid of ‘white’ page space. If the writing is awful: cut it/chop it/lop of its head – okay, almost a bit slasher movie language but the point is valid.
b. Read the older MS aloud. This is the quickest way to find trite dialogue or slow narrative. It also highlights redundancy. Your eyes might skip over the same phrase, but when read aloud, your editor’s ear will hear it.

7) Protect the white space! After I’ve exiled drivel to the junk folder, I’ll type the simple phrase – ‘something wonderful happens here’. I’m not required to know – in that one instantaneous instance – what the wonderful will be. Nope, I just need to give my MUSE time to think of what’s best to do with the white space. Maybe, it’s nothing. The deletion may lead to a better tightened scene or conversation. Or, maybe, there’s an actual point – an ‘Ah-ha’ moment – that needs to happen on page. On that page. Giving my MUSE time to consider the options can lead to effective writing.

8) Wordy internal dialogue. I talk to myself. Argue with myself. Sometimes silently. Sometimes . . . yep, aloud. When the house is empty, I’ll have detailed conversations. I’m brilliant with an argument after the fact. The point: most of us have an internal voice going on in our heads at any given moment. Characters will as well. But it’s not necessary to prooooooo-long the internal conversation.

*****Think it doesn't happen in big name, well-published authors' writing? Then think again. I have read more than one NYTimes Best Seller during the past year, who committed the same infraction. So, newbies & established indie authors take heart. Even the most experienced writer can commit this faux-pas. The point is to be aware of the tendency, find the offenses, then cut them out.*****

This sent me back to my own re-vitalized WIP with a figurative red pen.
1. Did my characters drone on for 10 sentences when 2 would do?
2. Did my characters ‘rehash’ the same point over and over again. Remember, we want our heroes and heroines to be SMART. (TSTL is never a good review)

Character emotions take time to develop; character attitudes – just like ours – will evolve over the course of the book; and character behaviors will adjust as he/she learns. But if my heroine is rambling on with the same internal argument on page 200 as she did on page 10, then I’ve committed the writing sin of prolonged internal dialogue.

I’m happy to report that my current hero & heroine are well on their way to becoming brilliantly succinct.

As my older MS is still a work in progress – very much so – I’m certain there will be more lessons learned from a new take on old work. I’ll share any tidbits of writing wisdom with you. We, as writers evolve; so, too, should our writing. Remember, better writing means happier readers.

Learn More! Additional Writing Tips.

Snapping Photos? Breathe LIFE into Writing . . .

Demystify Graphic Images for Easy Advertising.

Phrase . . . the true meaning behind the catch phrase: A fool’s paradise.

Pick a genre and you’ve probably read this catch phrase.

‘John thinks he’ll finally get the promotion, but then he lives in a fool’s paradise.’

‘Her fool’s paradise ended the day she caught her cheating lover in bed with her best friend."

Writing a historical and worried about the inception of this phrase?

Unless, your characters are pre-1462, you’ll be safe. This phrase first found its way on page in the Paston Letters, 1462.

But what exactly does a fool’s paradise mean?

Shakespeare embraced its usage in Romeo and Juliet, and certainly that was one couple that lived in happiness based on false hope.

Writing current fiction . . . or non-fiction?

The phrase – a fool’s paradise – is still as potent today.

Artist, Shohei Otomo, debuted his work in September 2012, entitling his exhibition: Fool’s Paradise.

The phrase shows its relevance in modern newspapers, as shown in The New York Times Opinion Section, October 6, 2008, article by Bob Herbert, A Fool’s Paradise, “We’ve been living for years in a fool’s paradise atop a mountain of debt.”

HolidayInsights.com has even determined that some wish to celebrate the day. July 13th is listed in their registry as Fool’s Paradise Day. Perhaps, it is just a day to
believe that anything is possible. Perhaps, a day not to worry about detrimental truth. And perhaps, it’s simply a day to assume that no matter the worst . . . it will all be over in a single day.

Whatever your take on the day, be careful not to live in a fool’s paradise.

Someday the truth will win out . . .
But then that’s a phrase explanation for another day.

3-2-1 Book Launch

3-2-1 Book Launch

Book releases have changed over the past ten years or so. What was once the primary responsibility of the publisher’s marketing team has morphed into the author’s responsibility. What was once covered with editors/agents emails and flyers to brick-n-mortar shops is now vibrantly alive through social media.

To keep myself on track, I’ve compiled a list of what-to-do’s for my upcoming book launch. Am I arrogant enough to think I’ve covered it all? Nope, not even close. But I work better with a list, and as I reminisce of Bloggers’ Thirteen Thursday, I decided to start with that number.

1) Complete final editing & formating review of manuscript – check and recheck.
a. Visit with establish authors for last minute insight.

2) Format through

Sigil & check all formatting through

Calibre – underway.
a. Visit with technical support staff.

3) Compile list of teasers from manuscript for social media releases – check and recheck. (More may be added at future date.)
a. Read, review, & assess current teasers used in social media.

4) Decide on title – check and recheck.

5) Class on tagline; complete tagline – check and recheck.
a. Finding valuable resources on taglines is the first step to #5.

6) Work with graphic artist on book cover, tweak, analyze, confirm pixel requirements, file specifications, generally make myself crazy and then decide on the final version – check and recheck.
a. Select a brilliant graphic artist. I was incredibly lucky as one of my nearest & dearest friends is said graphic artist.

7) Resize final book cover to several sizes for social media release. Add release date – check and recheck.
a. All on my own & invested the due diligence in Paint.

8) Begin primary release of book cover with release date – underway.

9) Write book dedication – still in process.

10) List book reviewers and design spread sheets for monitoring – underway.
a. Research a viable resource list that is consistently updated and then visit each potential reviewer’s site to find those that are the best fit. Thanks Melanie Rockett

11) Complete all necessary documents, dates, & pricing structure for release with Amazon – underway.
a. Going through the specifics for a 3rd time. Comes from having an attorney in the family.

12) Determine possible author interviews, set dates, schedule return favors as needed – underway.

13) Update all Romance Writers of America

information to reflect current release – pending.
a. Spoke with Houston office and followed their specific advice on how to update member profile.

Finally – The reality is that there’s more to cover. So, brainstorm on all the things that I’ve forgotten to do; try not to hyperventilate; make the next list; and get on with the release.

Don't Slow That Pace

Slowing the pace or resolving a major character conflict at the end of the chapter or scene gives your reader an opportunity to:

1) put down your fabulous writing
2) turn off the light
3) and dream about some other author's characters

Not quite a Kiss Goodbye - but too close for any aspiring author who has designs on a Best Seller list.

Make your readers hang around and hang on, forcing them to read through what would be a natural place to break.

How?

Use strong hooks.

As writers, we WANT to finish the thought, to build to the end - always pushing the conflict up the next notch. BUT - and it's a huge BUT, resolution is the last thing that needs to happen at the end of a chapter. Break the action right in the middle, leave the reader asking the question, ‘What happens next?’ or even ‘OMG, I’ve got to find out more.’; and you’ll provide all the incentive readers need to keep . . . well, to keep reading.

Character answers are a must.
Readers won't tolerate being left hanging or in the dark - indefinitely.

But like good whiskey - a shot at a time is the best way to enjoy.

Instead of wrapping a chapter - Weave the answer through the beginning of the next chapter or scene. Leave the thread dangling until the reader absolutely needs to know. There is power in the payoff with this technique.

Certain notable authors published their works as serials: Louisa May Alcott in A Long Fatal Love Chase, early Louis L'Amour works, and YA author, Gary Paulsen, started his work in 'shorts'.

THE POINT?

They believed and used . . . the HOOK.

If you're unfamiliar with STRONG HOOKS, then familiarize yourself with the above listed authors. Sometimes oldies really are golden.

Still not convinced?

Are you watching this season's AGT?
Before every commercial break . . . here's what's coming -- stay tuned, don't leave the room, keep watching.
How about the news? Pick any station broadcast. They honestly spend more time telling you what they're going to tell you, than the actual 'telling' of the news story. Why? . . . here's what's coming -- stay tuned, don't leave the room, keep watching.

What do these major entities know that is important to writers?
Stay tuned, don't leave the room, keep . . . reading.

If you wrap the scene up, put a bow on it, give the package away . . . guess what? Your readers aren't forced to 'stay tuned and keep reading'.


From my WIP - The Grave Digger - protagonist, Emma McBride has come to town to visit her godfather, Gus, who owns The Red Belly Bar. Gus is Emma's closest living relative, and the man who has protected her for years. To catch up on the latest news, Emma is pumping Margot, long-time friend, and the godfather's secret crush.


“Burke? Who is Burke?” Emma searched her memory, drawing a blank, but not liking the fact that some man, some stranger had convinced her godfather what was best. “Is that one of the infamous card buddies?”

“No.” Margot seemed to draw out the answer. “I thought Gus had spoken to you of this matter.”

“What matter?” Tension knotted in Emma’s stomach. She might only happen through town twice a year, but she checked in on a weekly basis. “What is it I don’t know?”

“Gabriel Burke, he runs the business. Each day, for the last six months. Shortly after your last visit, he came.” Margot's snow white brows knitted in concentration. “No one expected him to stay. Then one day, he is a partner with your godfather at the Red Belly bar.”

With a nudge against the china, Emma pushed away the remains of her snack and focused all her attention on her companion. “Exactly how sick is Gus? And tell me the straight of it. ”

Confusion then a bit of anger sparked the older woman’s gaze. “I do not keep the secrets from you, child. But it would seem your godfather has kept too many.”

* * *

If storms came in the form of gauzy lace shirts then the gypsy-like creature, who’d just whirled through the Red Belly bar’s front door, appeared to be a heavy-duty downpour. Faded jeans hugged all the right curves and stopped above a pair of slim ankles. Some nonsense of strappy leather sandals crisscrossed her feet. Pure California or some reincarnated flower child was Burke’s first thought. Until she pulled free the wide-brimmed hat and shook her head. A waterfall of blonde strands unfurled like golden silk down to her slim waist. Then the woman turned and Gabriel Burke stopped thinking at all.

This scene is in Chapter One, the closing of Emma's POV and her scene, and then the opening into Gabriel's POV and his scene. *** marks the spot. The conversation is designed to leave the reader asking questions. It's already established how much Emma loves her godfather, how she visits this specific town to spend time with her godfather, even how Emma expects - as we often do - that her godfather will live forever. Now, she's learned he's ill. That someone - some stranger - has influenced her godfather's decisions. Someone who's only been in town a short time, and now has partnership in her godfather's bar. You bet she has questions, and so does the reader.

Share a hook from your WIP, or one from your favorite books.

As always, you’re welcome to drop by my back porch. It’s heating up here in the deep south. BBQ is on the grille (Veggies, too) and beer in the cooler. Drop on by anytime.

Until next time
~Sandra

Virgin or Seasoned PRO - Details

Each week, I download multiple books to my e-reader.

Some I will finish and be excited that I’ve discovered great writing, a new author.
Some I will finish because I’ve discovered an innovative plot line.
Some I will finish because there is witty dialogue, superlative character development, or the use of literary device that is a struggle for me.

Many . . . many, I will not finish.

I’ll return them through my Kindle Unlimited – or simply delete from all my devices and take a hit on the cost.

Why?

Because reading time is precious and obvious mistakes in the first few pages of a book, does not bode well.

Sound pompous? Sorry for that, but it doesn’t change the fact that there are only 24-hours in any daily calendar.

After the writing, a bit of cooking, straightening, more writing, research, networking, working (the day job), family, more writing/editing . . .

You get the point.

Time is too precious of a commodity to waste on bad writing. (As a writer, I understand bad writing – only too well. However, that bad writing is edited to good writing or it goes into the delete folder. What doesn’t it do? See the light of readers’ e-readers.)

This mini-rant focuses on DETAILS.

Ancient adage: the devil is in the details.

This is never truer than in writing – good writing, that is.

Whether VIRGIN (newbie writer) or SEASONED PRO (established author), basic mistakes are unforgiveable to the reader.

I’ve chosen one selection from the many that have recently visited my e-reader. For the sake of literary discussion, I’ll term the selection: the red dress book. (Not anywhere in the title so don’t bother with a search.)

Why purchase this particular e-book?

Cover: Dramatic. Eye-catching
Title: Witty
Book blurb: Concise, Enticing
Even better it was listed as 9th in this author’s series, but it was billed as a stand-alone.

The problem with my purchase started on page 1 and continued through page 4.

Perhaps, the problem went further.

I did not.

The first 4 first pages of dialogue - whining dialogue, I’m sorry to say – contained no scene-setting, little character introduction, no backstory, or emotional meat. Who were these characters? Where were these characters? Why were they here in this moment in time, and MOST IMPORTANTLY – why should I the reader care about them?

Broken down into simplest form:

QUESTION: What did the characters reveal to the reader through their actions/observations?

ANSWER: Almost nothing.

Let’s start at the beginning. The characters are captured in a ‘surprise’ attack, held ‘somewhere’ by ‘someone’ for ‘some’ reason. Oh yes, they were chloroformed during the capture.

Have you ever undergone general anesthesia?
Been to the dentist for major oral work and received lots of Novocain?
Received muscle relaxers or pain meds while recovering from an injury?

Cement that instance in your mind.

Did you wake up instantly?

Or did you come back to your surroundings slowly? Take stock? Hear muffled sounds? Feel the sturdy bed beneath you? Or the cool sheets against your skin? Was there a stale taste in your mouth? Did you roll your shoulders, flex your fingers, or stretch your legs?

Chances are - what you didn’t do was immediately start into a bickering conversation in full sentences, filled with biting innuendos. Yes, you guessed it. That was the writing sin of the characters in the red dress selection.

If you, brilliant writer that you are, can’t accomplish this linguistic feat, neither can your characters.

Let’s return to our chatty characters.

QUESTION: What did the author reveal through the characters’ eyes?

ANSWER: read on . . .

The characters are restrained, sitting back to back, tied at the wrists. How? It’s a mystery as the author chooses not to tell and, more crucially, not to show.

Did I, as the reader, feel abrasive rope? Biting metal handcuffs? Sticky unforgiving duct tape? The cutting edge of ‘cop’ zip ties? Nope, because the author missed this small, but important detail.

The characters were sitting on the floor. What kind of floor? Was it cold concrete? Smooth laminate? Damp dirt or shifting sand? Again, the reader doesn’t know because the author missed the opportunity to scene set.

The female character wore an expensive red evening dress -- one she valued because she lamented its loss, but that's it. One tiny detail revealed. The size of the room: did it echo their whispers? Or muffle the sound? Is there cool air against (bare) arms? – I’m speculating on that evening dress – or humid heavy air? How dark is the dark? The pitch black of nothing? Or light edging around near/distant windows? Were there any other sounds? The hum of equipment? The scratching of mice/rats? Any noise from outside? Traffic? Wind? What smells were in the room? Damp and dank? Clinical and antiseptic?

Does an author need to put all those answers on the first four pages? Absolutely not.

Details in an opening scene can be likened to inviting a first-time guest into your home. Said guest will use all of his/her senses upon entering. Does each detail register to consciousness? Of course not. But if you’ve burned dinner – they’ll know. If the electricity is out and it’s dark as a tomb or hot as a Texas summer afternoon – they’ll know. If kids are slamming doors, exchanging sibling love at full holler – they’ll know.

So the author’s choice, more succinctly put, the author’s obligation is to present details.

Details add to the scene.

Details reveal or ‘show’ more than plain dialogue.

Details enhance the readers’ enjoyment.

Once again, back to our chatty character:

QUESTION: What did the author reveal about backstory?

ANSWER: Read on . . .

What relationship existed between the two characters?
1) Lovers – current or ex?
2) Professional associates?
3) Business adversaries?
4) Arch enemies?

Why was the female with this man? Right then? At that exact moment when the story began?

None of these answers were revealed during the 4-page conversation.

However witty the dialogue, if it does not move the plot or scene forward, then it is wasted page space.

What did the author reveal?

The characters had been taken during a surprise attack. Both of them. Both were PIs, or at least trained as investigators of some type. Both surprised from behind. Neither suspected. Neither heard anything. Neither felt the air move behind them, heard twigs snap, doors ease shut?

Why?

If the author doesn’t provide a reason on page . . .
that makes the character inept, newbies, or TSTL (too stupid to live).
Inept or newbies can be trained during the story’s evolution, repaired by another character, or simply highly humorous. Case-in-point: a Stephanie Plum novel or a Pink Panther movie.

TSTL is not repairable. It’s replaceable. Characters must be cheered on, rooted for, and supported even, and especially during, their darkest periods. Only characters who are worthy of investment will keep readers turning the page.

Final QUESTION: What were the characters’ emotions on page?

ANSWER: No shock. No fear. No panic. No sense of urgency to be free. Unfortunately, the author provided a void of reaction.

Do we, as readers, believe that lack of reaction?

Do we commit to the characters?

Do we keep reading?

Answer - I didn't.

My surprise - this was the 9th book in this series by this author. How had this author missed so many, tiny and grand, details?

If you, as an author,
1) Aren’t utilizing ‘beta’ readers, you should.
2) Don’t work with critique partners, you should.
3) Especially an established author - haven’t had your recent work critiqued, you should.

As writers:
We’re never too smart to learn.
We’re never too busy to edit/review/critique.
We’re never too highly published to work the craft.

VIRGIN or SEASONED PRO – the devil’s in the details.