Wednesday, December 13, 2017

12 Days of Office Depot Woes


Once Upon a Business, to Office Depot I did go . . .

ONE executive chair I did purchase


TWO hundred $$ did Office Depot over-charge



THREE fraudulent Office Depot charges on my account


FOUR bank rebuttals against Office Depot I did submit


FIVE different Office Depot departments who promised resolution


SIX Office Depot managers I did entreat -- please return my funds



SEVEN regrets for shopping with Office Depot


EIGHT Office Depot customer service agents I did beg -- please return my funds


NINE (90) minutes of typing/faxing/submitting rebuttal letters to Office Depot



TEN hours of listening to bad Office Depot hold music



ELEVEN broken promises from OFFICE Depot -- to date still no funds returned


TWEVLE (120 days) awaiting for funds to be returned.



For those in the business world . . .

for those authors searching for the perfect writing chair . . .

Hear my 12 Days of Office Depot woe.

Shop somewhere -- anywhere else -- and save the woes of miserly Office Depot who taketh but doesn't giveth.

Oh, and in case you really need to get in touch with a living, breathing person who is NOT part of the Customer Service 'useless' wheel -- their corporate number is: 561-438-4800. (It only took 120 days to obtain that phone number.)

If you call Corporate, expect a recording. Of course.
Be sneaky and persistent.
Select any department -- except Customer Service, then press 0 for the Operator and you should get through.

Oh wise shoppers . . .
DO NOT GO GENTLE INTO THAT GOOD NIGHT

-- especially do not go into OFFICE DEPOT.

RAGE AGAINST THE DYING OF THE LIGHT.

-- and terrible customer service.


Protect your sanity and shop elsewhere.


Friday, September 29, 2017

Mom Fun

HELLO MOMS!!!





I found this questionnaire on FB and it sent me down memory lane.
Take the trip with me and answer the questions about your FIRST born.
Actually, I'm not picky . . . if one of your other pregnancies is more memorable, think of that one.
Feel Free to steal the questionnaire and repost. I certainly did.

1. Epidural? Yes

2. Father in the room? Yes, although what he was supposed to do remains a mystery to both of us.

3. Induced? Yes

4. Delivered in OR/Delivery Room? Or All-in-One-Labor Room? OR: and honestly, I'm so grateful that I was totally focused on 'getting that kid out' during those moments of rolling into OR. These places are scary-looking.


5. Know the sex before hand? Nope, opted for the surprise.


6. Did you deliver close to the due date? Yes, actually only a few days early. I think the DOC induced out of self-defense. I'd threatened to slid down the banister to speed things along.

7. Morning sickness? Oh, you betcha! Six weeks of the flu-like systems.

8. Cravings? Mexican food - anything spicy -- chocolate covered cherries. Yes, and sometimes together. That's why they're called cravings.

9. Pounds gained? 25 (It was those chocolate covered cherries.)


10. Sex of the baby? Girl

11. Place you gave birth? Ft Worth. I managed to deliver all (3) of my babies in the same hospital, with the same DOC, no less.

12. Hours in labor? 12 hours


13. Weight: 7lbs 13oz


14. Name: For those who know me well, you know my oldest daughter's name. For those who don't -- honestly, you don't need to.

15. Age now: 29

And I added a couple of my own:
16. First thing my husband said to the baby? 'This is your daddy speaking.' Of course, considering that he'd said those exact words to my tummy for 9 months, it's no shock that my daughter turned her head and blinked at him. He swears it was a 'wink' of acknowledgement. Maybe it was. Those two have always been thick as thieves.


17. Sweetest memory? The first moment I held her in recovery. Almost 8pm on a surreal quiet Friday evening, still the old fashioned recovery area (the open concept) except for the bleached white separating curtains. Lights low, some soothing tune on a radio at the nurse's station, and then the squeak of metal wheels across tile as a nurse wheeled over the bassinet. From the blanketed depths, she lifted this tiny mummified creature and laid her in my arms. I was no wide-eyed youngster, but I knew a moment of sheer terror. I didn't have the first clue how to peel my baby free of all the swaddling. Watching my confusion, that I'm sure mirrored hundreds before & after me, the nurse lifted edge-after-edge until there was my baby girl. In an instant, there was this perfect being, stretching out baby ivory hands with sudden freedom, yawning and blinking open light-blue eyes to owlishly stare at me. How could something so perfect be mine? I marveled. Because God is good, and blessings do happen.

*Come on Mamas! Let's hear your story! Copy and paste. Change my answers to yours.

Enjoy the trip down memory lane!

Thursday, September 28, 2017

Marketing: 13 Thursday Tips on TEXT TEASERS

TEXT TEASERS are a fabulous way to entice readers to purchase your book.
Today's job has been about seducing the reader.

I've highlighted Paint for the purpose of this blog, but other options for image-compiling the Text Teaser are available. However, I highly recommend working these early steps through Paint.

STEP 1 --

Resize book cover to several different sizes and SAVE!


STEP 2 --

Select side background picture for text teasers and paste as an addition beside your book cover. You will need to work with the sizing. Again, I suggest saving in multiple sizes for different media releases. What works on Facebook and what works on Twitter may require different sizes. Take the time - upfront - to resize and then mass media release is possible. Additionally, you can utilize a 'blank or solid colored' background if no particular picture reinforces your book. However, consider the multitude of free media images before you go with a blank slate.
.


STEP 3 --

Choose text teaser. Mine for gold. Choose a teaser that will still make sense when pulled from the text. Choose a teaser that emphasizes character conflict.

STEP 4 --

Load text on side background picture.

STEP 5 --

Save.


STEP 6 --

Oops! Won't save.

STEP 7 --

Re-select side background picture and add, change size of background picture, or as I did -- save as a .png.



STEP 8 --

SAVE NOW!


STEP 9 --

Load text teaser on side background picture.


STEP 10 --

**Transparent? or Opaque?

If transparent, is your text color easy to read? Sized correct? Is your text teaser too long? But long enough to entice? Should the sentences be set apart for more impact?
If opaque, what color? How does that effect the overall read-readiness of your text? Is the text color the right shade against the opaque background color?

STEP 11 --

SAVE!


STEP 12 --

Reopen and make certain that you like the look of the text teaser, the overall sizing, etc. This TEXT TEASER technique is perfect for uploading reviews of your book. Once the basic cover art is sized for multiple media release, changing text teasers to reviews, and then more reviews is a click of the mouse.


STEP 13 --

Now upload -- everywhere.



STEP 13A

Repeat all steps for more text teasers and to increase marketing presence.

If you noticed a theme in the process, it was SAVE. Save at each step so if part of the process falls apart, you can simply reopen the work @ the last step and start again. Starting from scratch is no fun; avoid the aggravtion, and SAVE OFTEN. Oh, and I keep a separate file inside my BOOK COVER folder, marked: TEXT TEASERS. I date each finalized selection so I'll know that's the finished process and I can easily drop into a marketing site.


HAVE FUN with this process.

Thursday, August 31, 2017

To War - fighting back from Hurricane Harvey

Weather is a constant, and 'whether' it's you, a family member, the dearest friend, or the most distant neighbor --
ALL of us have experienced terrible storms and their aftermaths.



Texan proud - I have lived in Texas all my life and like so many fellow Texans, I feel overwhelmed by the devastation that I see left behind from Hurricane Harvey, and I am completely humbled by the outpouring of day-to-day heroes.

In a world where anger is so often the proclaimed answer; where violence seems to be the norm; and words slash with deadly accuracy ---- I say, enough.

Stop for a moment, look around you right now. There is something of beauty in front of you; something that will provide you joy; and something that YOU can do for another.

The smallest acts are often the most valuable.




My challenge:
not one whiny word for the day, not one accusation, not one UNNECESSARY frown.
Stay in the moment, look inside, and find joy.

I'll let the pictures speak. The words are LOUD & CLEAR, if you'll simply listen.






























Harvey blows ashore.







UNDERWATER.








Rides come in all shapes & sizes, but the rescuers are all Heaven-sent.







Carried to safety!













Heroes save EVERYONE!





Even our Texas dogs are 'doers'. Sometimes, you have to save yourself.

Thursday, August 17, 2017

3-2-1 Book Launch

3-2-1 Book Launch

Book releases have changed over the past ten years or so. What was once the primary responsibility of the publisher’s marketing team has morphed into the author’s responsibility. What was once covered with editors/agents emails and flyers to brick-n-mortar shops is now vibrantly alive through social media.

To keep myself on track, I’ve compiled a list of what-to-do’s for my upcoming book launch. Am I arrogant enough to think I’ve covered it all? Nope, not even close. But I work better with a list, and as I reminisce of Bloggers’ Thirteen Thursday, I decided to start with that number.

1) Complete final editing & formating review of manuscript – check and recheck.
a. Visit with establish authors for last minute insight.


2) Format through




Sigil & check all formatting through


Calibre – underway.
a. Visit with technical support staff.










3) Compile list of teasers from manuscript for social media releases – check and recheck. (More may be added at future date.)
a. Read, review, & assess current teasers used in social media.


4) Decide on title – check and recheck.


5) Class on tagline; complete tagline – check and recheck.
a. Finding valuable resources on taglines is the first step to #5.


6) Work with graphic artist on book cover, tweak, analyze, confirm pixel requirements, file specifications, generally make myself crazy and then decide on the final version – check and recheck.
a. Select a brilliant graphic artist. I was incredibly lucky as one of my nearest & dearest friends is said graphic artist.


7) Resize final book cover to several sizes for social media release. Add release date – check and recheck.
a. All on my own & invested the due diligence in Paint.


8) Begin primary release of book cover with release date – underway.


9) Write book dedication – still in process.


10) List book reviewers and design spread sheets for monitoring – underway.
a. Research a viable resource list that is consistently updated and then visit each potential reviewer’s site to find those that are the best fit. Thanks Melanie Rockett


11) Complete all necessary documents, dates, & pricing structure for release with Amazon – underway.
a. Going through the specifics for a 3rd time. Comes from having an attorney in the family.



12) Determine possible author interviews, set dates, schedule return favors as needed – underway.


13) Update all Romance Writers of America



information to reflect current release – pending.
a. Spoke with Houston office and followed their specific advice on how to update member profile.

Finally – The reality is that there’s more to cover. So, brainstorm on all the things that I’ve forgotten to do; try not to hyperventilate; make the next list; and get on with the release.

Friday, August 4, 2017

Summer Memories

Special shout-out to my writing friend,
Marsha R. West.

She put on my thinking cap for summer end.
What are you favorite/not so favorite summer time ends?

Marsha mentioned her first summer job and memories flooded back.

1st summer a bit over 16 and I went to work for Leonard’s (now Dillards) in the cosmetic department.

Three strong memories:

1) All women department – even in the men’s cologne.

2) Old-styled cash registers – counting change a requirement (loads of folks used cash for purchases. At least once a shift, I’d get some lady who dumped all her change on the glass counter-top and counted pennies/nickels/dimes until she made up the odd amount.)



OLD fashioned CC machines: remember the card swipers? No, not where you ran your card through the side of the POS machine. Nope, OLD-SCHOOL. Hand over your credit card, the sales person placed it on a ‘flatbed’ card swipe, loaded a 3-ply form on top, physically swipe flatbed arm over the card to make an imprint on the form, then fed the form fed through a slot in the old-styled cash register, price was entered, last four on card were entered, click amount, click credit, click VISA, MasterCard, AMX, click total, then if the stars lined up right it all went through. What could go wrong with this system? Everything. However, the good news? We weren’t inter-linked to the internet so as long as the store had power we could conduct those sales.



3) I came home smelling wonderful EVERY day. Always some new fragrance to try. Because the senior sales reps knew that young women wearing their fragrances were more likely to reel in men looking for a last-minute wife or girlfriend gift. I had loads of samples.



Heat – hours and hours of it.
Texas girl, remember.


Asphalt so hot that the tar bubbled in street cracks. (When we were little and constantly barefoot, my feet were tougher than the odd ‘tennie shoes’ my mom made me wear.) I wore Sunday shoes – white patent leather – that my dad had to buff out every Sunday morning because I couldn’t walk without scuffing my shoes, sandals for the beach and occasional trip to the discount store, tennis shoes (Ked’s) for the sticker fields that were the cut-through to the local 7-11. On the street, in the yard, even biking, we went barefoot. When they say shoe-leather tough, we really had the feet for it.



We really did fry an egg on the sidewalk.



Slip-N-Slides. It took until mid-October before the Slip-N-Slide rut in my parents’ front yard finally disappeared. Again, Texas girl – grass stays green a long time here.


Oh, but ours didn't come with a built-in bumper cushion. You stopped when you slid on the grass. Many a swimsuit turned permanently green.


Skateboards. Not high dollar durable fiberglass with titanium wheels. Not quite so elaborate. My dad cut out an oval from dated, stained plywood, sanded it down, drilled holes and connected a metal skate to the bottom, attached a rope through a hole in the front and off I went. From the ages of seven until . . . the ten-speed took precedence, I constantly rode the skateboard. Skinned knees, banged-up toes (no shoes, remember), tan lines from shorts and tanktops, freckles and life was wonderful.


Is it any wonder that we never wanted summer to end?
Did 100° heat keep us inside?

Absolutely not. There were sno-cones to eat; Slip-n-Slide contests; paths to explore; lemonade stands to build and man; dogs to walk and occasionally chase; hide-n-go-seek after dark, and fireflies to capture.

Be inside?


Not on a double-dog-dare.


Friday, July 28, 2017

If Women Ruled the World or something

A recent article brought this blog to mind: 'If women ruled the world. . .'

All right, all right, I'm not insinuating that women can't drive. Far from it. I tool around in a full-sized van, 6600 pounds, thank you very much and I can park the puppy in a rat hole. Do remember, I'm from Texas and things are bigger here than in other parts of the world -- rat holes included. But gals are normally handling a number of things while trying to park and I think it's only fair we should get a bigger parking spot.


There would be a little 'bill' equality . . .


Tools would be simpler.


Now, you're talking my talk.
Don't ask, 'where's the beef?'. More importantly, where's the duct tape? No woman's purse is actually complete without duct tape. Want to know how to hold a fence in place? Duct Tape. Keep air from leaking out of a tire? Duct Tape. Prevent anything from flapping in the wind? Duct Tape. Okay, I rest my case.


And for traditional tools . . . I say, 'Who needs 'em' I have hung many a picture with a shoe, and no, I don't measure before I put it on the wall. Hang and bang--that's my philosophy. And I can screw anything in place with a butter knife or better yet a metal nail file.
Make sure to get a heel with serious heft to it, however. If you're going to bang away, you want it to be effective.





Oh, and not the good butter knife, for crying out loud. That's like your kids buffing the dog clean with your good kitchen towels. Keep an old - we don't have the rest of the silverware set anymore - butter knife in your special tool drawer. Don't have one. Hit any Saturday morning garage sale. A .25C max.

















Hiking boots would actually LOOK good.




Toilet seats would stay in their proper position.



And guys would have the right toolbox.
Guys, if you're going to help 'make em', then roll up your sleeves and wade in.




Texas sayings

~Watch your step! Cacti, tumbleweeds, and an occasional armadillo might be ahead.

~Welcome to the land of tar-bubbling summers, gas-guzzling pickup trucks, standard Stetson headgear, and mile-high hair.

~Welcome to the Lone Star State, and Romance With A Texas Twist!

Quote of the Day