Monday, August 25, 2008

Monday morning and you survived the summer with your kids!


Okay, it's treat time. Take yourself to lunch. Eat an ice cream cone you don't have to share, or simply sit in the quiet and enjoy the nothingness.

However, if you're feeling a little sad and blue because your play buddies have disappeared for several hours each day, enjoy these laughs.

They aren't mine. I've heisted them from Reader's Digest, September '08 edition. Okay, with due credit offered, here are the ones that made me laugh.

FAMILY:
My 50-something friend Nancy and I decided to introduce her mother to the magic of the Internet. Our first move was to access the popular 'Ask Jeeves' site, and we told her it would answer any question she had. Nancy's mother was very skeptical until Nancy said, "It's true, Mom. Think of something to ask it." As I sat with my fingers poised over the keyboard, Nancy's mother thought for a minutes, then responded, "How is Aunt Helen feeling?"


You laughed, you know you did because there is someone in your family just like this.

OUT OF THE MOUTHS OF BABES:
On the way back from a Cub Scouts meeting, my grandson asked my son the question. "Dad, I know that babies come from mommies' tummies, but how do they get there in the first place?" he asked innocently.

After my son hemmed and hawed for a while, my grandson finally spoke up in disgust." You don't have to make something up, Dad. It's okay if you don't know the answer.


MORE CHILDREN:
We rushed our four-year-old son, Ben, to the emergency room with a terrible cough, high fever, and vomiting. The doctor did an exam, then asked Ben what bothered him the most. After thinking it over, Ben said hoarsely, "I would have to say my little sister."

THE TRUTH:
I am feet feet three inches tall and pleasingly plump. After I had a minor accident, my mother accompanied me to the emergency room. The triage nurse asked for my height and weight, and I blurted out, "Five-foot-eight and 125 pounds.

"Sweetheart," my mother gently chided, "this is not the Internet."


HUSBANDS:
For some reason, the bookstore clerk couldn't get the computer to recognize my preferred customer card. Peering over her shoulder at the screen, I said, "There's part of the problem. It shows my birth date as 12/31/1899.

"That's right," my husband chimed in. "She was born in June, not December."


Family can be soooo much help -- as in the temptation to help them right out of a moving car can be overwhelming, but it does make for funny moments.

Hope you found your chuckle today.

Enjoy the day of freedom, and be sure to drop by my porch anytime. The yard's mowed and flowers watered. All in all, looks pretty grand.

Until later,
~Sandra

3 comments:

L.A. Mitchell said...

These are great, Sandra. I saw MANY tears this morning. None of them mine:) Complete happy feet for me.

Here's to many hours of uninterrupted writing!

Marilyn Brant said...

LOL!! These were hilarious, Sandra. Thanks for sharing :).

KeyLawk said...

Thanks. Just picked myself up off the giggle floor.

Texas sayings

~Watch your step! Cacti, tumbleweeds, and an occasional armadillo might be ahead.

~Welcome to the land of tar-bubbling summers, gas-guzzling pickup trucks, standard Stetson headgear, and mile-high hair.

~Welcome to the Lone Star State, and Romance With A Texas Twist!

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