13 Things I Can Never Fix . . .

1) A deflated balloon stuffed down inside the bathtub drain. Drano won’t budge it, there isn’t enough suction power in any wet/dry vac manufactured, forget the clothes hanger, the favorite piece of wire . . . nothing short of a plumbing miracle will remove that slippery piece of rubber.

2) Broken zippers on the favorite purse or backpack. Never fails, perfect purse for the perfect location, and then the dreaded un-zipping occurs. Or the backpack is loaded, kids in the car, dog at the ready, and three out of four zippers on the beloved backpack unravel.

3) Something too high (out of reach) when I can’t find my oh-so-tall son or my handy-dandy step stool. Why did I put that set of wine glasses, casserole dish, fondue set (filling in the blank) up there? Oh yeah, it’s because I never need them. Except, of course, now I do.

4) Brand-new ball point pens that won’t write. Isn’t there some sort of testing these things go through? Well, there should be.

5) The ‘Service Engine Soon’ light on new cars. It’s really all a twisted ploy by car manufacturers. There’s really nothing wrong with the vehicle, but that neon yellow light goes on and stays on until some certified mechanic rattles around under the hood of my car, mumbling about a lot of parts that do who-knows-what and how much it’s going to cost. Eventually, the lights reset until the next mileage trigger goes off, and I’m back at the dealership again.

6) Wiring a DVD through a VCR through a Satellite Box into a Picture In Picture TV. I knew I should have added an engineering minor to my college degree. I just didn’t know I would need it to turn on my TV.

7) A wobbly ceiling fan. Forget that penny trick on top of one of the blades to balance it. By the time I finally figure out which blade the penny needs to be on . . . well, I need a chiropractor to realign my back and shoulders. And the first time, I vacuum (yes, I do vacuum my ceiling fans. If you could see all the Texas dust that settles there, you’d understand why.) But the first time I vacuum the ceiling fan, I suck that penny right off. Then the wobbling starts all over again. I finally attached a string puppet and told the kids to watch that instead of the mis-wired TV.

8) That electrical surge my cell phone sends through my computer. (okay, ever read Stephen King’s book, The Cell, where everyone who was using a cell phone at a certain moment had their brain scrambled? Think it can’t happen? Put your cell next to your computer and leave it. When you get those unexplained squiggly lines across your computer screen, that’s when the master cell mind is downloading updates into your phone. Maybe scrambled brains isn’t such a stretch after all, Mr. King.

9) My not so newly planted mums. Mums are supposed to be hardy flowers, capable of withstanding the great perils of Texas climate. Mine, however, need to move to another state, because they ‘ain’t’ looking so good here in the Lone Star State. I’ve water, fed, even replanted and still no blooms. Lots of green on the bush, but nary a bud to be found. Do they make flowerless mums? Or is this some special talent I alone possess?

10) The one strand of Christmas lights that fails on Christmas Eve, right before all the pictures are about to be taken. I’ve even tried buying all new strands for the tree one year. Didn’t help. I still lost a strand.

11) No money . . . well, it’s not exactly no money, but more like the actual checking account. I mean, do I care where a missing penny or two goes? Oh wait, I put it on the ceiling fan for balance. And I saw how well that worked out.

12) My kids losing their clothes and it somehow being my fault. All right, it’s not like my kids (teenagers) are stripping in the street, so losing clothes should be tough, right? Apparently not. I am the laundry queen, I’ll admit it. I wash, dry, fold, and leave the clothes for my teen’s own personal escort service back to the appropriate closet, drawer, or middle of the floor. Yet, somehow on that perilous voyage across the house, clothes develop a mind of their own and leave the building. A little Elvis must be in my house, and maybe he’s wearing my kids’ clothes, because no one else can seem to find the treasured T-shirt, favorite-oh-my-God-I’ll-die-if-I-don’t-find-those-jeans, the game-winning soccer socks, or the ridiculously expensive new jacket . . . point made I’m sure.

13) The perfect biscuit. I like to cook . . . yeah, I honestly enjoy it. One of my family’s favorites is homemade biscuits. I’ve been making them for years, and wearing them around my hips for equally that long. After all this time, and thousands of biscuits, it only seems fair that I should produce the perfect biscuit every time. Not so, fellow cooks of the world. One out of ten times, I manage the perfect color, consistency and taste for a pan of biscuits. Oh, don’t think my family complains about the other 9 not so perfect breakfast treats. Far from it. They’re always eager to scarf down my less than stellar attempts. But it’s the principal of it. Somewhere along the line, experience really should be all that’s necessary. Now, if I can just find that line, then perfection will be in my grasp and I truly can fix everything.

Cats and Christmas

Does this describe you at Christmas? Squeezed with too much to do?

Or perhaps this one? It seemed like it would be a good idea, but suddenly you're out of room?

Or is Christmas just one lovely surprise after another . . .

I hope the kitties find you enjoying your Christmas spirit.

Stuff to finish before Christmas

All right, so I'm cheating a little bit.

I hope that by posting the things I really need to accomplish I'll make myself accountable. I'll let you know how it works out.

1) Finish shopping . . . it would be helpful if I knew exactly what I was buying for each of those left on my 'to do' list, but the reality is that I'm one of those who sees the perfect gift and buys it. Sometimes, it's perfect for me and not quite so perfect for the recipient. I don't let this bother me too much. They can always give it back . . . right?

2) Cook some goodies. Goodies translate to sweets. And there is the nut in the peanut butter and why I haven't performed this particular task yet. Once I start baking sweets, I feel this overwhelming urge to taste the product of my hard labor. Bottom line: I have to eat them. Since, I finally slimmed my hips back into size 10 jeans, I'm not all that anxious to expand them again. However, I'll eventually give into this temptation and cook some goodies and eat them.

3) Write my annual Christmas letter. Doesn't sound like that'd be hard for a writer, does it? But I have this unwritten rule -- I go with a theme for my Christmas letter every year. Now, it's not like I truly understand themes (ask my critique partners or my oldest child, the English Lit major and they'll tell you). I finish a 100K word book and then ask them what the theme is. That aside, I do like a theme in my letters (maybe because they're shorter and I can hold onto that thought). So, I've been vacillating over the theme. Actually writing this blog is another prime way to procrastinate on my letter. But it's time to 'Git 'er done' as Larry the Cable Guy says, so tonight it's writing my cheerful missive while drinking mass amounts of eggnog. Should make for interesting text!

4) Mail my annual Christmas letter. Last year half of my stack never hit the mailbox. Oh, they were typed, printed on lovely holiday stationary, stuck in envelopes, addressed envelopes I might add, and then perfectly arranged in a pocket in my husband's car. I found them in February. Oops. I really started to send them on anyway, and blame the post office, but I had a conviction of honesty and simply threw them away. So, if you were one of those who normally receives a card from me each year and didn't . . . the post office didn't strike with mean intent. I was simply, tragically unorganized. I did save the letter to my computer . . . if you're feeling terribly left out, let me know. I'll email it to you.

5) Finish my sewing projects. In years past, I've been the craft queen. Not this year, so I started a few sewing projects for my youngest. Now, all I need to do is get them completed. Half sewn garments sorta loss their impact when they're unwrapped.

6) Mail the gifts to out-of-town relatives. This is another biggy for me. Last year, my lovely sister-in-law didn't get hers until May. No, the gift wasn't stuffed in a pocket, but left in my office floor in an unmarked box. Spring cleaning hit and I found the gifts. Oops, again. I'm really going to do better this year.

7) Plan Christmas Eve (private time for just my family) meal, and plan the Christmas day menu. It's always at my house and somehow that puts me in charge of menu-planning. Considering my organizational skills, or lack thereof, it's easy to see how much my family loves me.

So what have I accomplished . . .?

All the decorations are up, inside and out.
I've wrapped every present that I've already purchased.
I've cleaned my house. Okay, so it's as much as anyone can clean with five folks and a dog constantly under foot. So, how about, I've relatively cleaned my house?
I've purchased gifts for at least 6/8ths of the folks on my list.
I ordered early enough that all my Internet gifts have arrived, and yep, they're wrapped.
I purchased special gift boxes for those expensive gifts.
I've even managed a special trip to Dallas for several hard to find things.
I bought replacement light bulbs for my 5 optical trees. Now, I just need to find the detachable plugs. Why weren't those in the box? No, good answer.
Updated all the addresses for my Christmas letter.

All in all, I'm feeling hopeful that I'll accomplish my 'to do' list, and if not . . . there's always next year, right? Maybe I'll just go to Valentine's card and save myself a little grief.

Happy holiday organizing to all of you fellow elves.

13 great reads this year

My taste is more than a little eclectic, but I adore reading from all genres. Here’s what has entertained me this year. Please feel free to add yours.

1) STORM FRONT by Jim Butcher (the first in the Dresden series)

2) DEAD SHOT by Annie Solomon (fabulous romantic suspense author – won this year's RWA Rita for Blackout)

3) OBLIVION by Peter Abrahams (the author – not the book – came recommended. However after finishing this book, anything Peter writes would be worth my time.)

4) CLAIMING THE COURTEASAN by Anna Campbell (new Avon author and definitely worth the time and investment. I met this lovely Australian lady at the RWA Dallas conference this year. She was gracious and delightfully fun. Her second book hit the stands this week. Can’t wait to get my copy.)

5) TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD by Harper Lee (Don’t know how I missed this book during all my college English classes, but it’s a must read for anyone who loves great story-telling. And please don’t judge this book by the movie. You’ll be missing out if you stop at the movie.)

6) MEN’S GUIDE TO THE WOMEN’S BATHROOM by Jo Barrett (Funny, fast read and so darn accurate, I’m sure the author has visited a few of the same ladies’ rooms I have.)

7) DEMON’S DELIGHT (anthology) ANGEL AND THE HELLRISER by Vickie Taylor is a must read in this book. From the first line on, you’ll be hooked.

8) SWORD OF DARKNESS by Kinley MacGregor (this is my first MacGregor book, even though I’ve read a number of Kinyon books. Kinley MacGregor is a master at redeeming the most tortured of heroes. Great love story.)

9) FURIES OF CALDERON by Jim Butcher.

10) ACADEM’S FURY by Jim Butcher

11) CURSOR’S FURY, yep you guessed it, the third in the Codex Alera series by Jim Butcher. And you can bet when number 4 in the series hits the stands in December, I’ll be there for my copy.

12) THE SHEIKH’S CONTRACT BRIDE by Teresa Southwick (always entertaining, Ms. Southwick as usual captures the flair of sweet romances and draws the reader along for a great read.)

13) POPCORN DAYS & BUTTERMILK NIGHTS by Gary Paulsen (a long time favorite of mine that I hadn’t enjoyed in years. Mr. Paulsen cuts straight to the heart of young adults {occasionally known as teenagers}. If you or your kids have never read Paulsen, you’re missing a treat.)

Needless to say, this isn’t all the books I’ve read this year, but these 13 certainly made my memorable list – one’s that I’d enjoy again.

Please feel free to add your favorite authors or books – I’m always looking for the next great read.

Until next time . . . have a wonderful day.

Feeling Feminist

I'm feeling my feminist's oats this morning. No, it's not something I ate . . . more like one of those things that when it's actually quiet and no one is demanding my time, I can start a thought at the beginning and carry it through to the end.

I've been reading one of my daughter's college textbooks, Sex In The Heartland, by Beth Bailey. It discusses the sexual revolution focusing on the small town of Lawrence, Kansas (University of Kansas is located in this town).

In the book a number of issues are discussed, but one in particular (Parientals) caught my attention. Parientals were a set of rules set up by most universities in the 50s that sought to legislate, regulate, mandate (pick your verb) sexual morality. They achieved this purpose by controlling a woman's rights. What time she had to be back in the dorm, sign-in, sign-out procedures, where she could meet a man, even down to appropriate dress code and public displays of affection. While we are past much of this . . .

Here's where my feminist side kicked in.

Why are the old and newly developed, much improved birth controls measures all a woman's responsibility? Why is the female the one who is altering her body in order to keep from getting pregnant? Why are the chemicals going into the female body? Why do the problems with weight gain, the side-effects (both short and long-term), the shots, the patches, and even the requirement to remember to take that little pill belong to the female of the species?

Are guys not part of this process?

Here's my answer: Corporate 'pharmaceutical' America still belongs to the man. As long as men still run the all-mighty buck then the responsibility will sit firmly on the shoulders of women.

Please don't demean all this to my being a male-basher. I'm ecstatically happily married for a long time, and I totally adore my son on the verge of his manhood, but even women content with their lives should look at the big picture.

However, here's the part they (male-dominated corporate America) haven't considered . . . if women have the responsibility for when they get pregnant, then in essence, women control the fate of the population and therefore, the fate of the world. Something to think about, ladies.

Grateful for children

I recently visited a blog in which the author was relating a few of the reasons she was grateful for her kids. Her children are small -- that lovely phase of eyelash kisses and squeezing the stuffing out of mommy. Her stories brought back some wonderful memories.

And since it is almost Thanksgiving, I thought I'd wax poetic for a minute about the three in my brood. (Um, brood is the right word, as mine occasionally run around like chickens with their heads cut off.)

All three of mine are still technically teenagers (the oldest is almost twenty and informs me she'll be an adult at that age). Many folks aren't grateful for their teens because they can be lippy, know-it-alls, pushing the envelope, pushing their parents' buttons, and quite frankly, a danger to themselves.

HOWEVER . . .

My son at 6'4" is tall enough to reach anything I can't. I do occasionally put things on top shelves (using my step stool of course) just so I can call him into the kitchen to fetch whatever I need. Could I be manipulative? Maybe. But perhaps, I simply realize that like most males on this planet he needs to be needed. I'm simply providing that for him. Justified the angle nicely, didn't I?

My oldest daughter, yep, that's the 19 almost 20-year-old, makes me laugh. She has an acerbic wit that she must have inherited from her father, because I still have my smart a** attitude. I love her twisted sense of humor on her world, and her ability to laugh at herself. I project she'll be immensely successful because she's learning what to take seriously and what to let go.

My youngest daughter, who also happens to tower over me, has the most wonderful smile. And no, braces aren't the reason. When she was little, her laugh started at the tips of her toes and traveled all the way through her. It didn't matter what was funny or that it was even funny, but watching her laugh was infectious. She's found her laugh again (hey, she's thirteen. She's not supposed to be funny at this point) AND her smile. I'd missed that smile for the past year. It's wonderful to see that puberty and middle school hasn't destroyed what has always been there.

My children make my life busy and real and grounded -- fulfilling.

My children have taken over the remotes – thank heaven, because I don’t know how to program anything with the new technology and would be constantly watching a fuzzy screen. They also make sure mine and hubby’s favorite programs are recorded if we’re away from home.

My children make me realize that all the small stuff truly is small stuff. They're happy, healthy, and occasionally well-adjusted. 2 ½ out of 3 isn't bad.

My children still give me hugs, a kiss or two, loads of thank yous, and a great kick in the pants when I need one.

Which leads me to my last grateful memory.

As a writer, the road has been arduous and tiring, but my children have never stopped believing that I could accomplish my dream of publication. With that kind of support system, it's impossible to fail.

THE BROOD

Harm's Way Books In

They're here . . . they're here!

That's right; my shipment of HARM'S WAY has finally arrived.

A truly cool experience to open a box of books, sniff that great fresh print smell, and know that without me these books would never have existed.

Okay, I'm not diminishing my dynamite publishing house

The Wild Rose Press

, which BTW is where you can still download the ebook version of HARM'S WAY should your prefer; or my great and fabulous editor, Ally Robertson; or my tremendous critique partners, Shannon C, Sherry D, Andrea G, Mary K, Laura M, and Delores S who pushed me and supported me every step of the publishing way; AND certainly not my irreplaceable family, heroic Jim, and my three adorables who never stopped believing or considered giving up as an option . . .

However . . .

What's inside the pages of HARM'S WAY is totally a product of my imagination. For an instant after opening the box of books, the feeling is one of birth, sans labor. Oh wait . . . that took place while I was writing, rewriting, editing, rewriting again and so on. So labor was longer than the nine months it normally takes to get a kid to show up, but that scent of ink, the smell of paper, the high that always overtakes me when I hit the library, was only better this time because it was my personal library.

Jeremiah Johnson quote . . . The old trapper asked Jeremiah if all the pain, the loss, the love, the survival in the harsh mountains had been worth the trouble, Jeremiah replied with a shrug of his shoulders, "Eh, what trouble?" Humble man, honest answer.

Success is always worth the trouble.

May you know many successes in your life.

13 Thursday . . . Fall

1) Windows opened. Okay, I live in Texas and it's just not that often we really get to open our windows -- house or car. Most of the time we go from blazing Texas summers (um . . . fall is generally just late summer this far south) to freezing Texas winters. (All right, for those of you who live in the north, I know it's not really that cold here, but frankly, once it hits the low 30s and the wind is blowing about a million miles per hour, it's cold as far as I'm concerned and I can't keep my windows open.) So I happen to enjoy the brief respite of fall and open windows.

2) Crunchy leaves. Most people love the changing leaves, like to watch them finally let go and drift lazily to ground. Not me. I like 'em already down and dead. I love crunchy leaves and acorns beneath my feet. I always feel like I'm really getting somewhere when I walk through the racket.


3) House decorations. During the summer, it's simply too blooming hot to worry about putting up house decorations on the outside, so I wait for fall and then I can enjoy Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas decorations. As my kids say when Christmas rolls around, "It looks like Santa threw up on the house." Okay, a little graphic, but you get the point. I like outside decorations.

4) Sweaters -- what's not to love about something warm and fuzzy?

5) Fuzzy blankets -- same principal as sweaters.

6) Cuddling. It cools down, I open the windows, leave the ceiling fans on high, and then snuggle with my hubby under a fuzzy blanket. Yep, those are great evenings.

7) Hot, spiced tea. It's comfort food (or liquid). Warm and soothing, tempting and relaxing. Yeah, I love tea on cool evenings.

8) Speaking of comfort food . . . that would definitely rank on my 13 Thursday list. Steaming bowls of chili, homemade beef stew, a huge pot of chicken and dumplins – those are foods to warm any heart or tummy with the onset of fall.

9) Halloween is another reason I love autumn. There is something youthful, magical, and downright fun about kids parading up and down the streets dressed in their greatest fantasy costume. Why do we give that power of true belief away when we grow up?



10) Baking. I love holiday treats, um and so do my hips. This year I’m going sugar-free. Should be interesting to see how my recipes convert from the calorie-laden, sugar-packed fare of year’s past. Hey, if it doesn’t work, I can go always go back to a bigger pants’ size, but how exciting to think I can have my cake and eat it too – without the guilt or the calories.

11) Cold, clear, fall nights where the stars are close enough to touch. At least that’s how it seems when the air turns nippy and night arrives early. And the smell of autumn. Perhaps, it’s just the nip in the air, but I truly love the scents of fall.

12) Football. I’ve got to admit I do find a good game interesting. Maybe it’s simply that my family loves football, and we all enjoy cheering on our teams, shouting over bad calls, and lazy Sunday afternoons spent together.

13) Naps. Yep, that’s my favorite all time reason for loving autumn. In the summer I always have too much to do, and spring is all about pruning and planting and embracing the budding of new life. But quiet chilly afternoons and frosty twilight evenings are about peace, serenity and the occasional, deliciously enjoyed nap. Remember in Kindergarten when napping seemed for babies and who wanted to be a baby anymore? Hey, pick me. I do. Naptime is best enjoyed by those who can truly appreciate the simple pleasure of a nap ‘time-out’. Personally, I think giving up Kindergarten was severely overrated.

Thirteen things I learned since turning 40 . . .

Okay, I had an absolute blast writing this blog entry. I knew I'd enjoyed life more since turning 40 and now I know why.

1) Gravity wins – no matter what you do, what you nip, tuck, stretch, strap down or hoist up, gravity wins.

2) I’m not as nice as I used to be – I have loads less patience for stupidity. Okay, mine included. Why do I put my glasses down when I know I won’t find them again? Where is that magical place that I keep putting my ‘most important’ documents? Why do people bother explaining things or giving directions when they don’t know how something works or WHERE they are, much less where I need to be? If I ordered a coke, I probably don’t want a sprite. Okay, end of that rant.

3) I’m nicer than I used to be – I finally understand when friends are in a funk and I can be genuinely sympathetic without being cloyingly smothering.

4) I learned the word ‘NO’ – Wow! That knowledge took awhile to show up.

5) I despise small-minded folks – whether they are bigots, racists, exclusive spiritual-puritans, chauvinists, extreme feminists, republicans who hate democrats or democrats who hate republicans. I’m sure that’s not all, but the rest I’ve wiped from my mind for the moment.

6) I’m not as smart as I want to be, but not as dumb as my children think I am.

7) I love the quiet. Okay, maybe it’s not really quiet. I love the wind as it brushes through my Cypress trees and rustles the needles around. I love the mundane sound of my ceiling fan. The sound of children’s laughter in the distance. I love the rush of water, determined and unstoppable, as it surges to shore. So, maybe I just love peace.

8) A good glass of wine can counteract the evils of PMS, post PMS, pre PMS, possible PMS, and it should-be PMS. Midol is for husbands.

9) My eyes are lazy. At least, that’s the reason the doc gives for the glasses I need.

10) I’ve become something of a smart-aleck this late in life. Or maybe I’ve always been a smart-aleck; I just enjoy it more now.

11) Good friends are irreplaceable and the true wine of life. They can right wrongs, deflect sadness, increase happiness, and generally make you smile.

12) I don’t think technology is all it’s cracked up to be. What happened to the simple way of doing something? Is there really a need for 40 buttons on a remote? Any remote? Why do the lights in my car have six different settings? How about on and off? When I need more passwords to access my accounts than I lived in years, even dog years, technology has gone overboard.

13) I like to smile often; laugh hard; enjoy simple pleasures; avoid too much stress, sugar, and bad-tempered people; and I like saying ‘I love you.’ If someone I care about leaves tomorrow, I want them to have no doubt as too how much I loved them today.

13 things I learned from teaching 4th grade:

1) Teachers, any of them, are not paid enough – NOT by a long shot!

2) A one-size educational system does not fit all children! Meaning – the government’s plan, ‘No child left behind’, doesn’t actually mean children aren’t left behind OR aren't passed on to grades before they are truly ready.

3) There are way too many chiefs (government bureaucracy regulations) and too few Indians (actual teachers) involved in today’s educational decisions.

4) After writing several weeks on the board, I can remember true cursive writing.

5) 4th grade English is harder than I remembered.

6) Nine and ten year olds (4th graders) have wonderful imaginations. Want to know all the possibilities that can be observed through a telescope? Ask a nine-year-old.

7) Apparently being married 26 years is something amazing to 4th graders, as one of my students expressed: “You mean you’re married to the same guy for all that time . . . and like, all at once?” Uh, yeah, that’s what I meant!

8) It is physically impossible for nine and ten year olds to NOT talk. Something like exploding heads results.

9) 4th graders like to smile and laugh. They prefer teachers who smile and laugh, too.

10) It is not possible to be TOO silly when explaining (teaching) anything. As a matter of fact, the funnier the teaching, the higher the success in learning retention.

11) Education riddle: When completing any assignment, what one thing will most 4th graders forget? To write their name on the paper.

12) The most annoying sound in the world is a pencil sharpener.

13) Teachers are heroes. If you haven’t told your kids’ teachers, or grandkids’ teachers, or simply the person who you know is a teacher that they are great . . . do it.