Sunday Morning Construction

Why do those pesky 'small' fix-it or reconstruction jobs turn out to be so:

And HOW, oh HOW do we make them easier?

1) Read the directions
2) Don't be afraid to ask for help
3) Proper tools
4) YouTube Videos are your friend
5) Take pictures

As a serious do-it-all fixer, I've learned -- through my share of mistakes -- a few keys lessons that make installing . . . repairing . . . replacing . . . new construction a bit easier.

1) Read the directions. And I do mean ALL the directions. Don't skip to what you think concerns you. Read them all. Especially, the WARNING section. If the directions say, wear PROTECTIVE anything -- do it.
I use plastic Barbecue gloves for a lot of my painting/refinishing jobs. They're CHEAP and the come in boxes of 500. Who cares if you strip off the pair every time you change sections of the project? Super useful if you're using that expandable insulator mixture. Comes in a can. Spray in the opening and then it expands. OH - word of warning - USE a very small amount of this mixture. It really, truly expands. READ the directions.

2) Don't be afraid to ask for help. Find a hardware store (NOT a supercenter) and ask for insight. Want to refinish a piece of furniture? Then go to the experts and ask for them to talk you through the basics. These experts will save you MASS amounts of time, frustration and expense. I have three different hardware stores, depending on my project, that I'll visit before starting, and I've been handling repairs for a number of years. But products change - there's always something new on the market. Maybe better. Maybe not. But the experts will know if those new products for my PROJECT are worth the investment. Finding the right hardware store has been key for me, and those are the smaller stores.

3) Proper tools. If you're just starting out your remodeling/refinishing/repairing project this can get expensive. (Again, asking the experts WHICH tools are a must can be a tremendous cost savings.) Purchase tools and supplies will be a must. A multi-head screw driver is an excellent investment and hugely helpful when you're stuck under the kitchen cabinet and suddenly realize that it's not a flat-head screw, but a Phillips head. One quick flip on the multi-head screw driver and you're back in business. Don't skimp on your paint brushes. Trust me, picking out the wayward bristles from your finished painting project is NO fun. But you can save money on the Cheap-O drop clothes. .99C at loads of stores. Spread out, use, and discard. Unless you're a professional, the Cheap-O versions are fine. If sanding, buy multiple grits. You must step down the sanding project from roughest grit to lightest grit in order to assure a smooth finish and no 'divots' in your sanding job. (Ask the experts.)

4) YouTube Videos are your friend. Recently, I purchased a new refrigerator. I paid for delivery, but as I wasn't eliminating the old, it needed to be moved. Into the garage - easy, right? Not so much. It was too wide and hauling it out the backdoor and a sizable threshold seemed like a bad plan. Then it was how to make big fridge fit through small door. Answer: take the fridge doors off. Wait, still not so easy. Water & ice maker in door and they were connected . . . WHERE? In came the YouTube videos. Which I watched no less than 10 times. Yep, because that lovely water hose didn't quite disassemble in the 1-2-3 fashion that the instructions promised. Nonetheless, brawn eventually won out and the old fridge is now in the garage, and the new is in place. YouTube videos . . . yep, watch them. And if the first one doesn't make sense or is leaving out steps, check out another then another if necessary until you find an explanation video that makes sense. Or you realize that this project is outside your wheelhouse and need to call in the professional.

5) Finally, take pictures as you go.
a) you'll want to document your success. Yes, you will. When completed, you'll want to post the 'Ta-Da' moment. It's worth celebrating.
b) if you're repairing - that normally entails taking the original apart - then you'll want to remember exactly how it CAME apart.
c) if you get so far into the project and need to visit the hardware store again, those pictures of the progress can be hugely helpful to the experts to advise you.

Not every project in your home should be a DIY. Experts exist for a reason. There's no shame in turning over a project to an outside source. But there's no shame in wading into the DIY world and handling 'fix-it' projects on your own.

Happy repairing/refurbishing/refinishing!

13 Things I Can Never Fix . . .

1) A deflated balloon stuffed down inside the bathtub drain. Drano won’t budge it, there isn’t enough suction power in any wet/dry vac manufactured, forget the clothes hanger, the favorite piece of wire . . . nothing short of a plumbing miracle will remove that slippery piece of rubber.

2) Broken zippers on the favorite purse or backpack. Never fails, perfect purse for the perfect location, and then the dreaded un-zipping occurs. Or the backpack is loaded, kids in the car, dog at the ready, and three out of four zippers on the beloved backpack unravel.

3) Something too high (out of reach) when I can’t find my oh-so-tall son or my handy-dandy step stool. Why did I put that set of wine glasses, casserole dish, fondue set (filling in the blank) up there? Oh yeah, it’s because I never need them. Except, of course, now I do.

4) Brand-new ball point pens that won’t write. Isn’t there some sort of testing these things go through? Well, there should be.

5) The ‘Service Engine Soon’ light on new cars. It’s really all a twisted ploy by car manufacturers. There’s really nothing wrong with the vehicle, but that neon yellow light goes on and stays on until some certified mechanic rattles around under the hood of my car, mumbling about a lot of parts that do who-knows-what and how much it’s going to cost. Eventually, the lights reset until the next mileage trigger goes off, and I’m back at the dealership again.

6) Wiring a DVD through a VCR through a Satellite Box into a Picture In Picture TV. I knew I should have added an engineering minor to my college degree. I just didn’t know I would need it to turn on my TV.

7) A wobbly ceiling fan. Forget that penny trick on top of one of the blades to balance it. By the time I finally figure out which blade the penny needs to be on . . . well, I need a chiropractor to realign my back and shoulders. And the first time, I vacuum (yes, I do vacuum my ceiling fans. If you could see all the Texas dust that settles there, you’d understand why.) But the first time I vacuum the ceiling fan, I suck that penny right off. Then the wobbling starts all over again. I finally attached a string puppet and told the kids to watch that instead of the mis-wired TV.

8) That electrical surge my cell phone sends through my computer. (okay, ever read Stephen King’s book, The Cell, where everyone who was using a cell phone at a certain moment had their brain scrambled? Think it can’t happen? Put your cell next to your computer and leave it. When you get those unexplained squiggly lines across your computer screen, that’s when the master cell mind is downloading updates into your phone. Maybe scrambled brains isn’t such a stretch after all, Mr. King.

9) My not so newly planted mums. Mums are supposed to be hardy flowers, capable of withstanding the great perils of Texas climate. Mine, however, need to move to another state, because they ‘ain’t’ looking so good here in the Lone Star State. I’ve water, fed, even replanted and still no blooms. Lots of green on the bush, but nary a bud to be found. Do they make flowerless mums? Or is this some special talent I alone possess?

10) The one strand of Christmas lights that fails on Christmas Eve, right before all the pictures are about to be taken. I’ve even tried buying all new strands for the tree one year. Didn’t help. I still lost a strand.

11) No money . . . well, it’s not exactly no money, but more like the actual checking account. I mean, do I care where a missing penny or two goes? Oh wait, I put it on the ceiling fan for balance. And I saw how well that worked out.

12) My kids losing their clothes and it somehow being my fault. All right, it’s not like my kids (teenagers) are stripping in the street, so losing clothes should be tough, right? Apparently not. I am the laundry queen, I’ll admit it. I wash, dry, fold, and leave the clothes for my teen’s own personal escort service back to the appropriate closet, drawer, or middle of the floor. Yet, somehow on that perilous voyage across the house, clothes develop a mind of their own and leave the building. A little Elvis must be in my house, and maybe he’s wearing my kids’ clothes, because no one else can seem to find the treasured T-shirt, favorite-oh-my-God-I’ll-die-if-I-don’t-find-those-jeans, the game-winning soccer socks, or the ridiculously expensive new jacket . . . point made I’m sure.

13) The perfect biscuit. I like to cook . . . yeah, I honestly enjoy it. One of my family’s favorites is homemade biscuits. I’ve been making them for years, and wearing them around my hips for equally that long. After all this time, and thousands of biscuits, it only seems fair that I should produce the perfect biscuit every time. Not so, fellow cooks of the world. One out of ten times, I manage the perfect color, consistency and taste for a pan of biscuits. Oh, don’t think my family complains about the other 9 not so perfect breakfast treats. Far from it. They’re always eager to scarf down my less than stellar attempts. But it’s the principal of it. Somewhere along the line, experience really should be all that’s necessary. Now, if I can just find that line, then perfection will be in my grasp and I truly can fix everything.

Home Repairs Anyone?

Apparently, my real life’s task is to fix things. In the past eight months or so, any number of dated appliances and creature home comforts have hit the big snafu in my house and died.

First it was the garage door. Not the opener, that thing you pop off to Sears and buy another one of. Oh no, it was the actual springs that lift the door. When the springs break (that door you could raise) suddenly weighs its full gargantuan weight and guess what? YOU CAN’T lift it anymore. We called out the repair guy then promptly sent him away. That’s one of those let-me-give-you-one-quote-over-the-phone-then-a-different- and-dramatically-higher-one-when-I-show-up-on-your-doorstep experiences. Picture an unhappy gal, here. I was fuming. My husband, brilliant man that he is, comes up with this great idea; he’ll Google for Internet help. Low and behold, you really can find anything on Google. My door works now. I will say, replacing the springs on a garage door is not for the faint of heart or the weak of upper body strength. Good thing I married the broad-shouldered man I did, and raised the broad-shouldered son I have.

Now the garage door works, so we tackled the dish washer, the dryer, the vent-a-hood, the riding lawnmower, and we, foolish people we are, were feeling fairly confident. What is that saying? ‘Pride cometh before a fall?’

This weekend, naturally because I had planned to attend my friend, Candy Havens’ book-signing something disastrous needed to strike my house. We had this tiny task of replacing the faucet handles in the kids’ shower. Important tip time . . . if you need to replace the handles in the shower, turn off the outside water connection FIRST! Oh, and once the handles have been removed . . . DO NOT TURN back on the outside water connection.

If you want to know exactly how much water you can run down a drain, in a hurry, take off your shower handles without turning off the outside water connection. It looks like a proverbially fountain.

Okay, my hubby did know to turn off the water. So we only had a small fountain.

The problem showed up when he dared the House Repair gods by saying, ‘Don’t worry honey, it’s only a ten-minute job.’ Uh-oh, I heard the thunder crash the minute he issued the curse. In our house, anything that can go wrong . . . DOES. And anything we can make harder, more complicated, more unfixable . . . WE DO. Okay, so we’re consistent with making it tougher.

Nine hours later, the water had finally been restored to my house. Gleaming new faucet handles, an elaborate 3-cycle massage shower head (I’ll never get them out of the shower now), and a sparkling bathtub nozzle had all been installed.

Sure . . . honey, that was really an easy ten-minute job. I’m just not sure whose watch we were using to tell time.

What was the last thing you repaired in your house?